Top Tips for Coping with Breakup Stress

The stress of separation can sometimes feel overwhelming.  Like it or not, there may come a time that you simply can’t go on being with the person next to you. Whether it’s a high school romance,  live together partnership,  or a divorce with children, the stress that comes from facing life freshly single can seem daunting. Here are some tips to provide support for dealing with the stress of a separation: 

Find an Artistic Hobby 

This is without a doubt an excellent way to relieve the anxiety that comes with breakups. Find something that matches your interests and maintains your attention. Break out the art supplies, grab your knitting needles, get out your journal, your camera...whatever artistic hobby that inspires you. This is going to help you get your mind off things so you can recover your sense of self after a breakup. 

Start Going Out With Friends 

Being in a  relationship can mean that you’ve lost touch with some of your friends. Get back together  with those friends and start doing the things that you used to prior to your relationship. This is one of the best coping strategies to deal with the stress of a breakup: keep yourself socially connected.  As tempting as it is to isolate yourself, resist that urge and spend time with friends. Remember, just because one relationship in your life might not be what you wished, you can still have satisfying relationships with friends.     

Devote Yourself to Work 

Yes, really.  When it seems like an important relationship has been unsatisfying, spend some time on your career.  Focus more on your work to regain a sense of accomplishment and self respect.  This is a great tip to help you get through relationship stress because it helps you focus on situations and people other than your ex.  

Spend Time on Yourself 

Are there things that you’ve longed to do but you couldn’t?  Did you and your ex perhaps have different interests?  If so, now is the time to invest in yourself and explore the activities you love. This is a great strategy to get over a relationship: avoid rumination and instead put your imagination to more effective uses.    Like figuring out how to paddleboard.  

Take Up Sports 

Speaking of paddleboarding, taking on a sport is another great suggestion for coping with breakup stress. You may even find you discover a passion more powerful than what you felt for your partner!  Not only does learning a new sport occupy your mind, but movement releases endorphins to help reduce feelings of anxiety. Be it Qiqong, Lawn Bowling, Archery, Golf, Table Tennis...learning and getting active are excellent ways to move on after a relationship ends.   

These are just few ideas for coping with relationship stress.  You can decide for yourself which ones are the most effective tools that will help you reconnect with yourself and move on successfully after a breakup.    You can do it!

Take a breather...

Yesterday I met with my good friend Mercedes in preparation for our workshop on November 6th.   Chatting over a deliciously prepared lunch of fresh salad, homemade soup, fresh butter and scones, we talked about how learning to breath has  been a lifesaver in sticky situations.  When life gets rough, when your boss gets demanding, your child gets bossy, or your beloved one is reminding you of a combination of your boss and child, breathing through the difficulties of daily life can be the difference between losing your cool (and possibly the relationship) and connecting with composure.

It sounds so  simple, but learning to take a moment to reconnect with yourself, to literally "catch your breath" can provide you an opportunity to cool off and respond more effectively.  Here are some quick tips to help you through your day today:

1.  Accept that you will have irritations in your day.  Traffic will not go at your pace, your co-workers will aggravate you, and you probably will have worries...Huge, seemingly insurmountable worries.  Accept them as part of being human. Yay!

2. Set your alarm (hopefully with a gentle tone) every hour to take a breathing break. During this breathing break, take 5 minutes to sit quietly with yourself.  

3. Place one hand over your heart and let the other hand rest on your belly.  Then breath into your belly, aiming for the area just below your belly button.  

3. Notice your belly.  Sometimes we hold our bellies in during the day for a variety of reasons. If you can, during the breathing exercise, just let your beautiful belly go soft.

5.  Let your jaw relax open and continue to take some deep breaths into your belly.  Then just notice how you feel.  

6. Ask yourself, "what might be helpful to me?"  Perhaps you notice that you actually have some physical needs that would be helpful to take care of-do you need a quick walk? water?a snack?  Maybe there is a situation with someone you care about that you actually need to stop trying to solve today?  If you are feeling overwhelmed, do you need to focus on what is most important and drop the rest?  Do you need to give yourself a big hug?  Whatever answer comes up for you, pay it some attention.

I hope this helpful to you!  If you would like to learn more about connecting breath to creativity and intention, join us for a free workshop at Vital Health Kitsilano Friday November 6th please register at http://www.eventbrite.ca/e/exit-the-stage-enter-your-life-acting-class-for-living-tickets-18855470219?aff=es2.

Have a great day!