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What to do when Anxiety has you feeling lonely....

August 27, 2017 Maedean Myers
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Ever feel like you are trying to deal/cope/fix everything on your own while facing resistance/pushback/reluctance at every turn?

Ever feel like you are trying to take care of loved ones, while trying to take care of yourself,  while trying not to disappoint anyone else? Ever? really, ever. 

Anxiety loves to hang out with Isolation.  Together they can gang up on you and leave you convinced that you need to have all the answers to the problems of living.   Anxiety may convince you that most, if not all decisions you may make,  will  bear catastrophic consequences.  For example, 

Anxiety says, "that conversation with your friend/loved one/boss is going to end that relationship/job." 

Anxiety says, "if you are not perfect at this presentation/audition/date/job/dance you will burn in the fire of complete humiliation."  

Anxiety says, "if people really knew you, they couldn't love you"  

Anxiety chain smokes fear and gnaws it's sweaty nails, terrified that anything you attempt outside of your comfort zone... is too scary to risk.  It promises that if you fail, you will have to experience the most painful of emotions: shame.  

Shame, like all feelings is a " thought plus a physical sensation" (Mindful Living retreat, 2017).  But it is a primal, inchoate emotion evoking our deepest fears of rejection by our tribes.  

Anxiety is the umbilical cord to our most painful core beliefs.  Those beliefs are simply deeply held fear based opinions meant to keep us safe.  But they are just opinions.   

So how do we re-encourage ourselves when Anxiety has dramatically grabbed hold of our legs and begged us not to walk out that door?  How do we find the voice to speak when our own voices crack and tremble?

The other day I was watching an interview with Oprah   who spoke of getting strength from her  10,000 referring to a sentiment in maya angelou's poem "our grandmothers".  

Watching Oprah’s interview and later her  speech I could not help but notice that I felt renewed.   It made me think of all the amazing women throughout history who  laid the foundation for myself and others to be able to keep moving towards their dreams.  

Each day we  have an opportunity to take one small step towards overcoming Anxiety so that we can sing that song, have that conversation, change that behavior, make that career move...knowing that we are not alone in our struggles. We can find comfort in  connecting to the stories of others.  In restoring our inspiration we can find the courage to continue in our own journeys to greater love and fulfillment.  

Here are some women folk you may find some inspiration from:

  • Nina Simone: singer, social activist 

  • Barbara Walters: television journalist 

  • Octavia Butler: science fiction writer

  • Oprah Winfrey: talk show host

  • hildegard von bingen: medieval mystic

  • Janet Mock: social activist 

  • Marie Curie: (scientist) 

  • Marlene Dietrich: actress, style icon

  • hilary clinton: politician

  • Erica Jong: writer 

  • eve ensler: activist, performer 

  • DR. CLARISSA PINKOLA ESTÉS: author of "women who run with wolves"

  • Corazon Aquino:  president of the Philipines  

  • Elizabeth Fischer-Vancouver punk artist, assisted humane death advocate

  • Solitude-caribbean Freedom Fighter 

  • Bell hooks-feminist writer 

  • laurie anderson-awesome performance artist

  • angela davis-activist, philosopher

  • martha graham-visionary dancer choreographer

  • Malala yousafza-nominated for noble peace prize 2013

  • kasturba ghandhi-wife, mother, activist

  • Cristina fernandez de kirchner-president of argentina

  • tomoe gozen-samurai

  • pema chodron-buddhist nun and teacher

  • wilma rudolph-athlete writer

  • joan of arc-french revolutionary and saint

  • mother theresa-activist missionary

  • anne frank-biographer

  • Gorgo of Sparta-spartan leader

  • Dr. maya angelou-poet

  • Mae C Jamison-astronaut, scientist

  • Angela merkel-chancellor germany

  • Arundhati roy-novelist, political activist-wrote "god of small things"





 

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